The release of Fifty Shades Darker has reignited the general public’s interest in all things BDSM. However, many newbie BDSM’ers are often left a little bewildered about some of the finer details of this strange new world. While we all are pretty familiar with handcuffs and blindfolds, many would struggle to tell their armbinders from their Wartenberg Pinwheels! Thankfully the guys over at Carvaka have produced an ultimate guide that tells you all you need to know. It even covers an explanation of some of the slightly confusing lingo used as well as introducing some of the more commonly used BDSM toys. So if you are intrigued by BDSM and looking to learn a little bit more, check out the below video!
And as always, please stay safe, sane and consensual.
You may be wondering exactly what a munch is. A munch is a casual social meeting where participants that attend are interested in or involved in BDSM. Munches are useful to members of the BDSM community as they are a means and a physical venue to connect. Mind you munches were popularized well before the era of social media but munches are still widely attended. Munches act as a source of education and social interaction within local BDSM communities. You can find a munch in nearly any large city! Google it and see. Perhaps you would like to check one out for yourself.
The first official munch that I attended was in 2012. I am unsure how abuser M found out about said munch but he suggested that we check it out to possibly connect with like minded people. I was more than happy to speak with other people in similar situations to me. Abuser M and I did live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7 after all. There were not many people at that time who were open about living the BDSM lifestyle. I treasured the idea of making any friends who also lived the lifestyle and who were open to speaking about it with me. I hungered for other humans to talk to. I was completely isolated from the real world. After quite some time of feeling alone in the abuse I endured, I gladly agreed to attend the munch with abuser M, not that I could really say no to him.
I still have some specific memories about the first munch that I attended although I don’t remember a lot of details because abuser M and I attended quite a few other munches after the first trial run. I felt completely awkward attending the first munch. At a munch you are outing yourself to the attendees, the public around you and therefore the world. You can’t really hide the fact that you are involved in the BDSM community if you are yapping about it with a group of people over fries and beer. The first munch that we went to was held in downtown Berkeley, CA in a small but popular cafe. Abuser M put on my old special “bling” collar lock just to show off his property. This collar lock was only worn at openly BDSM events as abuser M was of the impression that the rhinestones were flashy and not “public appropriate” since it attracted more attention than my 24/7 collar.
The first munch that we attended was geared towards the younger adults that were involved in the local BDSM community, specifically those who were 30 years of age and under. At the time of our first munch, abuser M and I both qualified for this only requirement to attend the meeting (I still do). At the munch we sat around restaurant tables and openly spoke about BDSM topics amongst ourselves. Attendees came and went as they pleased. Some people had obviously met before and there was even a munch leader who was in charge of organizing the event each month. We met a few nice people and exchanged contact information with a various other people that we had met. Overall the munch felt very awkward and almost forced until I consumed a bit of alcohol and only then was it easier to open up to the other attendees and begin to make connections.
That wasn’t the last munch that abuser M and I attended but was certainly the first munch that I do remember attending and it marked my memory. It wasn’t very eventful yet it cemented abuser M’s force over me because he felt even more comfortable displaying me as his property openly in public. He felt comfortable talking about the subject of BDSM amongst other like-minded people and even confessed to me that he felt like he could fit in a community for once. Sadly, over time he could not maintain sufficient contact to make many like minded friends in the BDSM community and probably still has not (yet he still claims to actively live the lifestyle). He is anti-social even in one of the most antisocial communities that I have ever encountered.
Abuser M once confessed to me that he had always felt alone… after beginning to understand the level of abuser M’s sociopathy, I could not agree with him any more. People who openly thrive off of the extreme suffering of others such as Abuser M are downright scary. I rarely encountered people amongst even the BDSM community that I considered as twisted and sadistic as abuser M. Even amongst extreme sexual sadists, he is a loner and an outcast.