
Hello, my name is Amber. I am the creator of @FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS and am a survivor of domestic violence/abuse as well as childhood abuse/neglect. Some of my more recent traumas occurred when I was an active member in the California Bay Area BDSM community. BDSM is a widely known abbreviation for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM). Some people davel in BDSM for pure fun and pleasure while others choose to take it more seriously and live “The BDSM Lifestyle”. Here I wish to expose and discuss my experiences not only with the BDSM community but also the lifelong journey that chained me to such a community.
By blogging and communicating with others about my experiences I am ending the silence on my terrifying traumas and promoting my recovery from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or (C)PTSD. I hope that revealing my experiences with abuse will encourage and inspire other victims and survivors to end their silence and to start living their lives with more luster. I also hope that exposing my inner thoughts and feelings regarding my journey will encourage further recovery and evolution of myself so that I too may thrive in life. I invite you to please follow my journey of self recovery and evolution.
To continue to my blog click here.
DISCLAIMER
Please note that I will try my hardest to pre-alert readers to possible psychological triggers such as sexual abuse, assault/battery, emotional abuse, domestic violence and child abuse/neglect in general by adding “Trigger Alert” to any potentially triggering posts. I must also let all readers know that the contents of this website will not be sugar coated. Furthermore, I am not here to bash the BDSM/kinky community as I still believe that there are many mentally aware and sane people in such a community regardless of any potential dangers. Being a member of the kinky community has shaped who I am as a person after all.
I was once considered a slave in a total power control or “TPC” relationship within the Bay Area BDSM community. The Bay Area BDSM community has many healthy aspects to it as well as many under-discussed dark sides that I will attempt to reveal and work through here. I will try my best to only describe situations that have permanently affected me in some way and I will never share anyone’s personal information in a post such as real name, location, occupation, etc. Sharing someone’s personal information without their permission would be considered “breaking their consent” in the BDSM community. I still abide by this rule although I am no longer a member of the BDSM community.
I must also ask that readers not negatively judge me or post derogatory remarks/comments regarding my personal experiences. Positive, inspirational, story sharing, questions, are all welcome as a form of comment on this site. I may also be emailed at FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS@gmail.com should you want to discuss or share a story/question with me privately. Any derogatory comments directed towards me or anyone else who identifies with this site will not be tolerated.
Some of my experiences are extreme and many people will not fully understand them. Neither do I and that is why I will be discussing them here. If you do not like what you hear, please move on to something that pleases you more elsewhere. As the BDSM community would say “Your kink is not my kink” – meaning everyone has their own cup of tea and I respect that and hope that the readers will too.
September 14, 2015 at 11:34 PM
Just wish to say your article is as surprising. The clearness to your post
is just excellent and that i could assume you’re knowledgeable
on this subject. Fine along with your permission let me to grab your feed to stay updated
with drawing close post. Thank you a million and please carry on the enjoyable work.
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September 15, 2015 at 9:27 PM
My brother recommended I might like this web site.
He was entirely right. This post actually made my day.
Thanks!
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September 19, 2015 at 11:53 AM
I’m sorry you were abused. No one should treat another human being abusively. I look forward to reading about your journey, Amber.
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September 19, 2015 at 4:32 PM
Thank you for your kind support!
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September 22, 2015 at 1:26 PM
I truly just want to say, not sorry. I am so elated for you. not for where you have been. but for where you are now! Also, for where you are going. Im following so that the similarities of some of our past. I may learn more for myself.
ty for sharing.
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September 22, 2015 at 2:28 PM
Thank you Victoria! ❤
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December 16, 2015 at 1:14 PM
I’m so glad someone is talking about this in a useful manner. I’ve made quite a few posts about Fifty Shades, with varying degrees of comments. I’m curious how you feel about my stance. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. Blessed be.
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December 16, 2015 at 2:41 PM
I hope you discover true gentleness and heartfelt respect along your journey. With the increasingly sexualisation of people’s lives, your story is important to share.
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December 16, 2015 at 6:03 PM
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me! ❤
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March 5, 2016 at 12:52 PM
Working on a book?
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March 5, 2016 at 1:26 PM
I wish.
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March 18, 2016 at 10:10 AM
In my perspective – My own Self Realizations are the most valuable gems that pave my way to my different way of life. And getting to know the self I call My Self honestly, may bring these gems of self realizations to every day life.
Sending you wishes on your new way, filled with abundance in all walks of life 🙂
And Happy Blogging!
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April 6, 2016 at 7:51 PM
Blessings to you….I read some on your blog, and I look forward to hearing your new name. 🙂
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April 13, 2016 at 7:37 AM
Well, I have not had the pleasure of reading the actual blog yet, will do, def. Look forward to. I encourage you to do this work, though some would assume, me being a Christian, I would not encourage, due to some content. I’m open minded not to promote, but not to judge, because my judging will prevent the intervention of God (I sincerely represent this).
Of course, I will have you and the blog in my prayers. Glad that you have chosen to talk about this, due to what assistance might be received by others for coming out and addressing the pain associated, not only in the past but present.
Listen, this is a community, lots of subjects should have a voice. This doesn’t mean complete embracing, but freedom to talk, like a child who has trouble expressing discomfort and pain is (should be) given time to get it out, for the sake of communication, and expiation, that the child should adjust to difficulties.
Much love, sincerely; MAO.
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August 13, 2016 at 3:49 PM
Thank you for your Follow. Returning in kind my friend X.
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