#FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS @FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS
#FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS @FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS

Hello, my name is Amber. I am the creator of @FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS and am a survivor of domestic violence/abuse as well as childhood abuse/neglect.  Some of my more recent traumas occurred when I was an active member in the California Bay Area BDSM community.  BDSM is a widely known abbreviation for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).  Some people davel in BDSM for pure fun and pleasure while others choose to take it more seriously and live “The BDSM Lifestyle”. Here I wish to expose and discuss my experiences not only with the BDSM community but also the lifelong journey that chained me to such a community. 

By blogging and communicating with others about my experiences I am ending the silence on my terrifying traumas and promoting my recovery from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or (C)PTSD.  I hope that revealing my experiences with abuse will encourage and inspire other victims and survivors to end their silence and to start living their lives with more luster.  I also hope that exposing my inner thoughts and feelings regarding my journey will encourage further recovery and evolution of myself so that I too may thrive in life.  I invite you to please follow my journey of self recovery and evolution.  

To continue to my blog click here.


Fifty Shades of Truth & BS


Please note that I will try my hardest to pre-alert readers to possible psychological triggers such as sexual abuse, assault/battery, emotional abuse, domestic violence and child abuse/neglect in general by adding “Trigger Alert” to any potentially triggering posts.  I must also let all readers know that the contents of this website will not be sugar coated.  Furthermore, I am not here to bash the BDSM/kinky community as I still believe that there are many mentally aware and sane people in such a community regardless of any potential dangers.  Being a member of the kinky community has shaped who I am as a person after all.

I was once considered a slave in a total power control or “TPC” relationship within the Bay Area BDSM community.  The Bay Area BDSM community has many healthy aspects to it as well as many under-discussed dark sides that I will attempt to reveal and work through here.  I will try my best to only describe situations that have permanently affected me in some way and I will never share anyone’s personal information in a post such as real name, location, occupation, etc.  Sharing someone’s personal information without their permission would be considered “breaking their consent” in the BDSM community.  I still abide by this rule although I am no longer a member of the BDSM community.

I must also ask that readers not negatively judge me or post derogatory remarks/comments regarding my personal experiences.  Positive, inspirational, story sharing, questions, are all welcome as a form of comment on this site.  I may also be emailed at FiftyShadesOfTruthAndBS@gmail.com should you want to discuss or share a story/question with me privately.   Any derogatory comments directed towards me or anyone else who identifies with this site will not be tolerated.

Some of my experiences are extreme and many people will not fully understand them.  Neither do I and that is why I will be discussing them here.  If you do not like what you hear, please move on to something that pleases you more elsewhere.  As the BDSM community would say “Your kink is not my kink” – meaning everyone has their own cup of tea and I respect that and hope that the readers will too.